Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The bad news he received a month ago

Today is going to be one long day, for everyone who loves his Sparks. And when the night falls, emotions are going to run high and hopefully, there will be someone for everyone who is mourning. He will be drinking himself silly by tonight. The good thing of course is he does not have to report for work tomorrow morning, he had pre-empted that by applying for a two-day leave last week.

Today marks a month since she made up her mind to leave everyone and everything behind. He knows the decision must've caused her much pain; she is not one to give up on life so easily. Not even when she was lying in a local hospital in a coma sparked off by her failing heart. Ahh, that was a medical condition that could be left in the hands of the learned professionals to save, which to a certain extent, they did.

Until a callous line broke that already-fragile heart of hers. She almost did not want to believe it when she first heard it, she shared with him. She had wished it was a line of miscommunication, that perhaps someone was beside the other man when he said what he had. She said: "I had prayed somehow this was not true, not after all we have shared with each other. Not when I know some of his most intimate details, not when he has shared with me some of his deepest secrets. I just find it impossible to believe that he would say all that. Didn't he know it will break my heart? Didn't he care?"

The other man had hurt her terribly, and she never recovered from that pain. It was that air of wistfulness that had struck MOTM at the gala dinner in Sydney when they had met. It was not their first but his loins had stirred, he is a little ashamed to confess now.

He was bored that night and as she had correctly identified, he was also uncomfortable about attending such events and would probably have skipped it if he had not been on assignment. Then he spotted this special woman kick off her shoes and playing with her toes, totally oblivious to the disapproving stares her chaperone was shooting. He watched her for some 30 minutes, drinking in her every little action while he searched his sometimes failing memory to put a name to that face.

Then bingo! He remembered their first meeting at the Istana in early 2004. She was there with a Mediacorp actor and there were whispers in the background that she was his kept woman, and that was no good in their morally-uptight society. He had watched a Shin Min reporter approach the couple and he was impressed by the discreet manner in which she handled the situation, while the actor just walked away leaving her in the hands of a vulture.

He didn't realise it then, it had only occurred to him when they started dating a couple of months ago, but he had been attracted to her that night two years ago, especially when he tried to strike a conversation later. Well, he had his foot in his mouth and his lack of tact to blame but he was properly put in his place when she told him: "Don't mind my rudeness but I think you're quite a jackass."

Yea, he knows she has written about it in her blog but clearly, she didn't remember the exact line as well as he did. For till that moment, he had always been a ladies' man and she had broken the record by calling him a jackass. He didn't think the actor deserved her then. He still held the same thought when they chanced upon each other at a movie premiere a year later.

She had been laughing at a comment her date for the night had made when she turned and made eye contact with MOTM. She smiled politely and he could virtually see her churning mind as she struggled to recall where they had met. He walked up and a PR from the film company introduced them.

He could tell she remembered the incident when she said: "You are that one." Leaving him with sufficient hint to squirm, he made an excuse to get away. Yet he spent that night watching her, instead of the movie. Even his date had commented as much, and he had to pay for a ticket to watch it at another time.

There is something about Sparks. Everyone's been saying, she's special. But what makes her truly special? He wishes he could write about that but words fail the wordsmith at the most critical time.

Still he will persist. And when they next meet at the memorial service, he promises, he will have a beautiful eulogy to share.

Today he will sneak away to her favourite spot at the beach and spend quiet moments, reminiscencing their brief but dear days together. Then he will drink himself silly to prevent his tears from flowing.

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